Hooking- up seems all fun and frolic until one of them catches feelings. Or that’s how every romantic movie starts. But can real life really lead on from reel life? Times have changed and so have people’s opinion on the matters of love. What you really think is love, in reality, might just be lust! And things come to an ugly turn when only one of them in a relationship gets hit by this. Before hitting the apparent stronger sex with the ultimate chick question as to ‘Who we are?’, Ask yourself! Are you really his girlfriend or just his menial hookup side-chick that he just happened to treat with respect?
It has been rightly said that it is a tough task to read a lady’s mind indeed. In today’s fast pacing world, everybody is busily engaged in their own problems. Nobody wants this extra responsibility of having to deal with a relationship too. So what came next? The trend of open relationships.Casual relationships strictly pertain to being sexual in nature rarely garnished with a pinch of friendship. And here’s how slangs like fuckboy and side-chick came into existence. But the real question is, are you a side-chick for real? Are you commitment phobic and only have a good time when in casual relationships? Some side- chicks can be sadists too. Ladies that tend to go after a man who’s already in a relationship or married often end up creating a ruckus for all the people involved, mostly on purpose. But sometimes, the former don’t feel like hurting anybody else’s feelings, but still, want to engage in a fun-filled ride. Here’s how to know if you might be a potential side-chick or not!
Signs That You Might Be A Side- Chick!
What are the qualities of a side- chick, you’d ask? But a side-chick isn’t always born (just sometimes..) and there are times when you happen to turn into a side-chick. This might be due to some bad past experience in a relationship or due to the media hype. Most of the times, they are a nuisance to the society and if you identify a promiscuous creature like this in your life, steer clear! Side-chicks fall under the ultimate sadist category and only believe in feeding their own ego and selfish needs. Their most common weapon being sex, they tend to make the first move and seduce the guy, so as to engage in an activity that he might regret in the future.
If you can relate to this information and are a lady, you will perhaps know what we’re saying. But is this something that you should be proud of? Obviously, not. The aftermath doesn’t bother, and you simply don’t care about other people’s feelings. It’s not the fact that they are dead inside, but the fact that they attain some kind of selfish pleasure in making other people’s lives a mess, playing with their feelings and not caring by the end of it all! A side-chick is just a female version of a fuckboy to categorize it in the simplest of words. There might also be a possibility that you are treated or forced to act as a side-chick due to the situation or basically, involuntarily without even knowing it. When a guy is already into a relationship or married and engages in any kind of sexual or emotional activity with another woman, that ‘other’ woman is the ‘side-chick’.
Just like a little devil, they will make efforts to know about a man’s personal life and dwell on it to create strategies as to how to ruin it in order to feed their own selfish needs. Some women tend to chase committed men just to challenge themselves or to see if they can actually grab something out of reach or has karma already closed its doors. They take it as a challenge and chase it until achieved or until they wreck their lives. She is a little predator that is dangerous and must beware of and avoided at all costs. Do not fall for that pretty face, all you committed boys!
They are not just famous for wreaking havoc in people’s lives, but there are reasons as to why they do it. For one, they like the silent private creatures of the night and loyalty means nothing to them. They may even blackmail you after all is done and said for money! And yes, I’ve read and seen cases. This act is commonly more than being true. A side-chick is just a bummed out word for what the previous generation used to call a ‘mistress’. She engages in sexual activity with more than one sexual partners at the same period of time, strictly avoiding any kind of emotional feelings.
But most often, the side-chick is unaware of her position. She might be treated as a side-chick by the guy without her prior knowledge into the relationship. The next time you date someone, try to figure out or better, make sure the guy is single as a pringle or if he is just admitting to being one. Because if he lies, even before you know it, you are his side-chick, backup or the other woman in his life. Some men just don’t believe in the theory of monogamy, and same go for the ladies as well. And what follows next is the creation of a batter of a nuisance that affects us all!
Side-chicks are not heartless or dead inside. They will take out time and make efforts for you to fall into their pit. Just because they go out for lunch and drinks with you doesn’t necessarily mean she might be going out just with you. She will message you every other day knowing you already have a girlfriend and lets you engage in conversations that she knows the guy might not want to avoid. Maybe it’s a football match or maybe it’s just sexual, but they are trick monsters, often possessing experience in the matter! If she tells you she likes you but you still thinks that she does not have all the ears for you when you talk to her or that she doesn’t remember any important event that might be precious to you, maybe she is not the serious kind and just craves for the warmth of affection that you tend to gain in a relationship. People date because they like each other and have genuine feelings for each other but what if she fakes it just to make you believe that she loves you? This might be a secret but nothing like something that doesn’t exist. Maybe she has told this to a couple of guys and fails to show you her phone in the name of trust.
Some other important factors to take note of might be if you have met her on Tinder or any other other social dating site, then there might be a high chance that she is smart enough to know that it’s the best option for engaging in promiscuity and she uses it to the fullest to fulfill this purpose. If you really like this girl and still have doubts about her loyalty, make sure you dig into the minute details like how much time she spends on her phone or the fact that she has just recently ended or come out of a relationship. She might even use you as a scapegoat for a rebound.
Sometimes girls already know the status of a guy and are okay with it or will be okay with being the other half. We are not saying that they lack in self-respect (or maybe a little) but attempting to wreak havoc in somebody else’s relationship or for their own selfish needs, a side- chick is not always unaware of her status and she is always happy to see other’s in pain. But for women with self-respect and who happen to find themselves in a situation relating to a similar ideology of thought and lots of doubt, here comes the newsflash.
How Not To Be A Side- Chick Anymore?
#1. Respect Yourself
Ladies, before anything else, respect yourself and keep in mind the fact that there are many boys out there and life won’t end for you if you cannot achieve the one who is already committed. Put your energies into making yourself better for your own self and not for anybody else!
#2. Understand That This Is Not A Game
Most women tend to have a habit to show other women down. So they do not complain against the attention they receive from somebody else’s boyfriend. This is a very common habit that people tend to mistake for a game which is not cool. If you have any past grudges against a person regarding some past issue, talk to them instead of talking revenge on them by stealing their boyfriend.
#3. You Don’t Have To Prove Your Worth
There are ladies and man alike that tend to commit this kind of revenge on someone that they might have a grudge against either currently or previously. I have heard people confess that they only cheated on their enemy’s boyfriend to hurt their feelings and win. Understand that this is not a game and you don’t have to win it in order to prove your worth. Understand that your previous friendships and jealousy are different and attempting to interfere in somebody’s personal life is different.
#4. Realize That This Can Only Do Harm
You have to realize this one important fact that engaging in an act of playing with someone’s life will only lead you to a dead end besides harming some people’s feelings that you intentionally or intentionally intended to do. Spilling dirt on others will only get you dirty, instead, put all this energy to good use in bettering yourself!
#5. Get Into A Serious Relationship
And be loyal to him! One of the best things that you can do to get your mind off engaging in playful games for fun is to get yourself a man that is true and loyal to you and treat him the same. Focus on yourself and your new budding relationship and think of things to spice up your relationship instead of souring others.
#6. Drop The Jealousy
If you do not want to admit it but understand that you are in some way jealous of the other girl and want to seek her attention by approaching her boyfriend, then drop this attitude and make your life worthwhile by doing something good for the others or yourself. If you have anger against a person, then put your anger and energy to a good productive use. You can join a gym or take up meditation to calm and distract yourself.
How To Deal With A Side-Chick?
If you are dealing with a similar situation, you must talk it out with someone and get it out of your system. You can either talk to a friend, the guy or even a therapist for that matter, i.e., if you fail to feel any kind of empathy even if you want to, you might be suffering from EDD or an Empathy Deficit Disorder which can be treated with regular therapy. Else, if you happen to find yourself in such a situation and recognize your position as a side-chick, you can back off for good. Backing off will prevent a lot of problems for all the people involved. There might also be a chance that you happen to find yourself in such a position without knowing anything about the situation, in that case, you can clear your doubts and talk to a friend or the guy itself. Confront him about the situation and ask him what he really wants or whom he really desires and wants to be with.